I was the JW and my spouse was the one raised in it. You are correct that you find yourself trying to not remember events. This actually affected my kids more because when I was really deep in JW teaching I wouldn't want to sit down and look at photo albums of earlier days when we did holidays. I wouldn't want to discuss those times. I didn't say that to them but now I realize what I was doing. I am very glad I am out and that I really didn't forget those happy holiday times. Now the next time we look at the family album I can share more about what happened.
The best way I can think of to preserve those memories without JW editing is to write them down now before they get diluted to you too. When kids were small I kept a notebook so we could remember their babyhood and now I can use it as help to fully remember the little details that are so important to a family history. Also just by praying and asking for God's assistance can help you in this troubled time.
Andrea Wideman
JoinedPosts by Andrea Wideman
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UBM's
by carla indoes it seem like your past with your spouse is slowly being erased?
do they remember earlier times?
does it seem they are not allowed to or should not even think of time before becoming a jw?
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Andrea Wideman
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Why write a letter of disassociation?
by tfsm inmy question may seem vague but if one decides to leave "the organization", why write a formal letter?
why not just leave and not have any further contact with the witnesses?
is there some legitimate legal reason for this or do people do this because the witness thinking has overtaken their logic?
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Andrea Wideman
It is important to write the letter of disassociation just so the JW's won't harrass you with shepherding calls. They will leave you alone from that point forward. Plus as an added benefit you have closure. It felt so liberating when I wrote mine and hurried out to the mailbox to send it.
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Andrea Wideman
My family.
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Where are the witnesses?
by gringojj inmy wife and i just drove by the kingdom hall.
its is wednesday at about 12:30 in the afternoon, and there about 30 cars there!
my wife says they must be out in service.
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Andrea Wideman
You are right that people have gotten smart and just don't answer the door. I dropped off a bunch at the funeral home from where my mom was buried. I used to put them in doctors' offices and public places like that. At the meetings that is something that was really getting covered the last time I went. How to place mags when people aren't home.
I have to say though that I will be surprised if anyone these days just drives around while in service. Gas costs too much and JW's aren't encouraged to focus on careers. Which means that most of them don't have high paying jobs. -
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I wonder how my mother-in-law will react.
by Andrea Wideman inmy mother-in-law is a jw.
she is the one that gave the knowledge book and took such and interest in my baptism that she made sure whomever needed to know did about why i wasn't with the other people getting baptized that day.
i couldn't fit in the seat.
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Andrea Wideman
I did ask them if they wanted to stay JW's and I would respect their beliefs. They informed me that they were only being JW's until 18 and then they would have left it anyway. I believe their exact words were yahoo! When I told them about my decision.
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Saturday morning, a Peaceful New World tract, and a conversion van
by Gopher inthis past saturday morning, two jw's encountered a householder (a friend of my co-worker) with an interesting perspective.
his brilliant and humorous insight into the "peaceful new world" tract is below!
id just settled down with canettis brilliant novel, translated as auto-da-fe, to listen to a saturday midmorning beethoven concert, when the doorbell went off.. .
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Andrea Wideman
I loved how the artwork was dissected in such a humorous way.
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Story-Lillian Cruz from Hingham Massachusetts
by DannyHaszard inhttp://www.freeminds.org/women/lillycruz.htm
my name is lillian cruz and this is my story
i was the one at first searching for truth from the bible.
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Andrea Wideman
This story is a real eye opener. If I wasn't out of the JW already this story would probably have me writing my disassociation letter. I can really relate to her searching for answers.
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Husbands! Smack your wife across the mouth!
by PopeOfEruke ingreat advice received from a close jw relative who we visited last week.
she said that husbands are the head of the family, and if the wife doesn't support him in serving jehovah then he should give her a good smack across the mouth, thats what she deserves.
if only adam had given eve a good smack across the mouth when she proposed eating the fruit, we wouldn't be in the mess we are in now!
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Andrea Wideman
Fact is that abuse can be prevalent regardless of faith. Especially in high control groups. My sister who is Catholic married a Lutheran at age 17. He abused her for years and she is still with him. You talked to the priest and they would say to stick with him. Many may deny it now but that was the attitude back then and depending on which priest you spoke with could be the same opinion you would get today. It wouldn't surprise me to find out that it could be the same with elders. I would have to say that some husbands might take the attitude of headship a little too far. They could use it as an excuse to abuse their wives or their kids.
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Do you hide you JW family's practice of shunning from non-JW family?
by kwintestal ini thought of this question as i've been talking to different family members about the situation with my parents and grandmother.
i wondered if they'd get upset by me telling other non-jw family members what was going on.
i recently told a family member in coventry who i'm sure will end up telling my grandmother's sisters.
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Andrea Wideman
I wouldn't keep the practice of shunning a secret because it would cause too much confusion. My mother-in-law is a JW but her father is not. I am very close to her Dad and try to have a good relationship with her. He is always inviting all of us over to his house. Since I wrote my letter of disassociation I haven't heard from her at all. I did speak with him and share my concerns that she might decide to not speak with me or my family. He said that he would frown upon her doing that. I used to be Catholic, which is his faith, and switched to JW which is hers. He was very supportive of my choice then and he is very supportive of my choice to be a Christian now. He feels that she should do the same. Will have to see what happens. The main thing is that I don't want my family to be divided.
I did read your other post about when the Grandparents are able to see the kids which is only at your house. I completely agree with that because I don't want her doing that to my kids either. My kids are happy with me and Joel's decision to be Christians not JW's. Honestly they wouldn't appreciate her preaching to them about JW beliefs. -
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Andrea Wideman
Welcome!
I do know what you mean about wanting to be able to think for yourself. It is an affliction I suffer from myself and I received many funny looks from any JW I really told my opinion to. My husband,Joel, says that it is amazing that they didn't DF me for doing it.
Your daughter looks beautiful in her Halloween costume. This is the first year my kids are doing it, that they can remember, it has been eleven years since we did holiday stuff.
Again welcome and hope to hear more from you.